Tangled: the Series oneshots
by HoneyxMonkey
Summary: Here is a Tangled the series oneshots book. Enjoy the angst
1. Intro

**Welcome to my angst hell-hole with a bit of fluff mixed in for flavor!**

Hey guys! This is a Tangled: The Series oneshots book. Mainly focusing on Varian because he's my favorite character and being my favorite character means a butt ton of angst thrown at your face.


	2. Unscathed

**_Not completely unscathed_**

_What if Varian hadn't gotten out of that fight with Cassandra completely unscathed?_

After everything that had happened, getting captured by Cass, imprisoned, thrown across a room and nearly falling to his death, Varian hadn't noticed his injuries right away. Even hours after being back in Corona he was still hopped up on adrenaline. Though, he blamed some of it on the effects of the truth serum.

It was nearly five hours later and Varian was down in the now destroyed Demanitus Chamber. He looked around at the demolished workshop.

He bent down to pick up a piece of paper and a spike of pain shot through his chest. He gasped sharply. _Ow._ Was all he could think.

The pain became more prominent and he steadied himself agaisnt the wall as he stumbled back a little.

"Varian? You okay?" Rapunzel called down to him.

"Yeah." He said and immediately a burning sensation in his chest could be felt. _The truth serum._ He clenched his jaw trying to fight back the urge to tell the truth. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. "No." He gasped out. "I- I'm not."

She was down the staircase in an instant. Her eyes widened when she saw him leaning against the wall. "Varian what happened?" She gently put a hand his arm.

Varian fought back the pain, tears and the truth serum. He couldn't let Rapunzel know that Cass was the one who hurt him.

"Varian." Her voice was sterner. "What. _Happened_."

He gave in. "Cass. Cass, she-she threw me across the room with the black rocks. And it might have broken a few ribs."

Rapunzel helped off the wall. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Honestly? I didn't notice until just now." He tried to laugh but the pain was too much. "I was trying to bring her back."

He coughed and immediately noticed the taste of blood. "I think I'm gonna-"

He collapsed in Rapunzel's arms. The princess struggled to keep him up.

"Eugene!" She called up the stairs, frantically trying to keep her friend from falling on the floor. "Lance!"

Both men came at her calls. They were surprised to see Varian unconcious.

"What happened?" Eugene asked as he and Lance took the kid.

"Cass hurt him. Badly." Rapunzel was trying not to cry. She couldn't believe Cass would do something like this. And to _Varian _of all people.

They got him upstairs and to the medical room.

Doctor Flora was surprised by their sudden appearance. "Oh my! What happened!"

Rapunzel couldn't hold back the tears now. Her dam broke and she started sobbing into Eugene's chest.

Lance explained what Rapunzel told them while he helped the doctor place Varian on one of the beds.

Doctor Flora pursed her lips and looked over at the crying princess. "I am so sorry my dear. Until now I truly thought you had a chance of saving her. But, seeing what she has done to Varian, a _child _of all things... well." She didn't finish her thought and went on treating his wounds.

Eugene started to lead Rapunzel out of the room. "We'll come back in a few hours to check on him."

Rapunzel suddenly stopped when they were halfway outside. "What are we going to tell his dad?"

Lance and Eugene looked at eachother.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get it, Sunshine."

Rapunzel sighed. "A-alright."

Three hours later they went back to the medical room. Varian was awake but still laying down.

"You're going to need to take it easy for a while." Doctor Flora was saying. "After taking a hit like that? Well, honestly I'm surprised you got back up."

Varian bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to cry. "Cass... she..." He trailed off.

Eugene knocked on the doorframe. "Hey buddy. How are you?"

Varian smiled at the sound of his voice. "Not dead. That's good."

They noticed a large, black and blue bruise crawling up his chest and collarbone. They could only imagine what the bruise looked like on the skin they couldn't see.

Rapunzel sat next to him. "I'm so sorry we didn't get there sooner."

Varian sat up painfully and put a hand on her arm. "Rapunzel, don't blame yourself for this. I'm going to be fine."


	3. Oneshots List

**List of the oneshot ideas that I'm planning for this book! The ones in bold are the ones I'm currently working on.**

1\. ROTBTD!AU

2\. Moon!Varian AU

**3\. panick attack/angst**

4\. Zhan Tiri!Varian AU

5\. Demanitus!Varian AU

6\. Modern AU

7\. scared of heights angst

8\. Mind Trapped Quirin angst

9\. snowstorm and flashbacks (a.k.a, _angst_)

10\. Cass kills Varian (accidentally or on purpose is tbd)

11\. Zhan Tiri kills Varian

12\. Varian sacrifices himself to save everyone (i.e. amber)

13\. Varian traps Cass in the amber

**14\. OUAT!AU**

**Rapunzel=April**

**Cassandra=Melanie/Mel**

**Eugene=Chris**

**Lance=Roman**

**Quirin=Thomas**

**Varian=Eren**

**Adira=Diana**

**Hector=Peter**

15\. Varian and Raps go undercover

16\. PercyJackson!AU

17\. ModernRoyals!AU

18\. HungerGames!AU

19\. Divergent!AU

20\. _TIME TRAVEL_

**I didn't add all of them cause of course I want to keep some of them a surprise. Vote on which one you want to see the most and I'll try and get to it next.**


	4. Blinded

***chanting* ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!**

"Let's just... take this slow."" Eugene and Lance were hiding behind one of the overturned tables in Varian's lab. "We don't want someone to lose an eye."

Varian rolled his eyes. "We're just testing her incantation abilities. Not playing with swords."

"This is objectively more dangerous." Lance grumbled under his breath.

Varian ignored him and turned to Rapunzel. "Ready, go!"

* * *

The explosion was big. Very big, and it knocked everyone back.

Varian had the unfortunate luck of being right next to Rapunzel when it happened. He hit his head on the wall and blacked out.

When he came to, he felt hands on his shoulders and heard Eugene's voice but he couldn't see anything. Everything was pitch black.

"Varian? Varian!" Eugene shook him a little. "Come on buddy, wake up!"

Varian blinked his eyes open, expecting to see Eugene. He didn't. Instead he was met with more darkness.

"Eugene?" He knew that he was there but he couldn't see him.

"What's wrong?" He must've seen the terrified look on his face because his tone changed from concern, to fear.

"Eugene, I-I can't see."

* * *

"He should be fine," Doctor Flora said as she packed her bag. "Other than than the blindness, I mean."

She left and and Rapunzel sat on the bed next to Varian.

"Varian I am so sorry." The princess was almost crying.

Varian found her hand and squeezed it. "It's okay. I don't blame you, Rapunzel."

"But-"

"No buts." He turned his head towards her. "_I don't__ blame you_."

She looked into his, probably permanently, glazed over eyes. "But I'm the one who did this."

"Not on purpose."

Eugene put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Sunshine." He leaned closer and lowered his voice. "He's not mad."

**_A few days later_**

It had been a few days since the accident and it seemed like Varian was starting to get pretty good at navigating his surroundings. His dad was around alot more often now too, just to make sure he stayed safe.

Explaining what happened to Quirin had been one of the most awkward conversations Rapunzel had, had in her entire life.

Quirin came up to the princess who was talking to her parents. "Sorry to bother you, your majesties, but have you seen Varian."

Rapunzel looked around the throne room. "I thought he was with you?"

"And I thought he was with you."

They looked at eachother in a panic. Soon they had almost everyone in the castle looking for the alchemist.

* * *

Varian had no idea where he was. He had been 'looking' for Ruddiger and he was pretty sure that the raccoon was somewhere in the forest.

"Ruddiger!" He called out and then listened for his friend. He heard footsteps but they were heavy so it definitely wasn't Ruddiger. Then came the voice.

"Hey Varian."

It was _Cass_.

He stood completely still, almost frozen in fear. "Cass."

She laughed. "What's wrong? Not happy to see me?" She gripped his shoulder and turned him to face her. She almost gasped when she saw his eyes. They were completely glazed over. Varian was _blind_.

'What happened? Who did this to you?" Cass demanded.

Varian's expression changed from fear to confusion. "W-why do you care?"

"I already told you, I know that none of this is your fault. It's _Rapunzel's_." She released her grip on his shoulder. "_Who did this?"_

He backed away from her and into a tree. "Um... it was Rapunzel..."

Cass clenched her fist. First Rapunzel betrayed her and then _this! _Cass was beyond angry at the princess. She thought that Rapunzel cared about Varian.

"Cass it's not what you think!" He suddenly exclaimed. "It was an accident. She didn't do it on purpose."

"She hurt you, Varian." Cass glared in the direction of the castle. "Thie is something I _won't _let her get away with."

"Cassandra please don't!" He grabbed her hand and held it tight. "Don't punish Rapunzel. This was an accident."

The Enchanted Girl appeared behind Varian. "She hurt your friend. She _blinded _him, Cassandra."

Varian froze. That voice was familiar. "Cass, who is that?"

"I'm a friend." The voice said. "Or, atleast, I'd like to be."

'You. You were the one who was in my dream. The one who told me about the fourth incantation." He turned his head slightly towards her. "What are you doing with Cassandra?:

"I'm helping her." The voice moved from behind him to in front of him, next to Cassandra. "You of all people should know what it's like when the people you trust the most push you to the side. To forget about and abandon you."

"That _isn't _what happened." Varian insisted. "Cass, you know that Rapunzel loves you and would never, _ever_, hurt you." There was a pause and Varian got the feeling Cass was giving him the stink eye. "Not on purpose, anyway."

"Varian!" Rapunzel's voice suddenly broke through the silent forest. "Varian where are you!"

His ears perked up at the sound of her voice.

"Rapunzel?" He called back. Then he heard Cass unsheath her sword. "Cass, whatever you plan on doing, don't."

"Cass?" Rapunzel gasped when she saw her old friend standing in front of Varian with her sword drawn. "Cassandra what are you doing?"

Cassandra glared at her. "What am _I _doing? Maybe you should ask yourself that question, _princess." _She pointed her sword at Rapunzel. "What you did to me is one thing, but _blinding Varian__? _That's another."

Behind Cassandra, Zhan Tiri grinned. This was going better than expected.

"Do you really think I _meant _to do that?" Rapunzel's voice was filled with hurt. She knew Cass was mad at her but she never thought Cass would accuse her of hurting anyone that severely on purpose. "Cass..."

The two girls had a sort of stand-off, waiting to what the other would do.

Meanwhile, Lance and Eugene were trying to figure out how to get Varian away from Cass. They couldn't just go and grab him. Cassandra would just stop them.

Varian listened intently to hear if anything was happening. He hated not being able to see. And Cass was still in between him, and his friends.

"Cassandra, I don't know what you want, but please just give me my son back." Quirin pleaded.

Cass' grip on her sword tightened and she had to remind herself not to get mad at Quirin. He hadn't done anything wrong. She shoved Varian towards his father and turned her attention back to Rapunzel. "Until next time, Rapunzel."

And with that, Cassandra dissapeared with Zhan Tiri's help.

* * *

They reappeared at their fortress of black rocks. The Enchanted Girl crossed her arms and stood in front of Cassandra. "You had the perfect opportunity to destroy Rapunzel. Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want Varian to get hur- to get in the way. Besides, there were too many of them. Half the guard was there."

The Enchanted Girl raised an eyebrow. "I hope you're not going soft. You can't afford to worry about anyone else, even if they're someone you used to care about."

Cassandra nodded. "I... understand."

* * *

"Did she hurt you?" Rapunzel asked, looking him over.

Varian pulled his arm out of her grip. "No, I'm fine. Let's just go."

"What were you even doing out here?" Lance asked.

"I was looking for Ruddiger." Varian held onto Eugene's arm as they walked back to the castle. "I followed him here and that's when Cass showed up."

Rapunzel sighed. "I'm sure he'll turn up but, you can't just wander off like that. You could've gotten hurt."

Varian glared at the ground. "Just because I can't see, doesn't mean I'm helpless."

She was silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just... I just don't want you to get hurt. Not again."

Varian's expression softened as he found her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "Hey, it's okay. Cass didn't hurt me. I'm fine."

Rapunzel felt her eyes begin to water. "But you're not. Varian, she was right. I hurt you... and... and I don't even know if I can fix it."

Varian gave her a reassuring smile. "Raps, it's okay. I know that you didn't do it on purpose."

Rapunzel gave him a smile in return, despite him not being able to see it. "Thank you."

* * *

When they got back to the castle Varian told them exactly what happened.

"She kind of snuck up on me. After she saw my little... problem, she demanded to know what happened. I told her that it was you, but it was an accident. She would'nt listen. And then that was when her little friend showed up."

"Zhan Tiri." Rapunzel hadn't seen the demon child with Cass but according to Varian, she'd been there.

"Yeah..." Rapunzel had told everyone about what happened at the Spire and he hated to be reminded about Zhan Tiri's involvement with Cass, but knowing he was the reason she was free, weighed heavily on his shoulders. "And then you guys showed up. It was weird though. Cass didn't seem like me she wanted to hurt me. Actually, after hearing about what happened it seemed more like she wanted to protect me."

Eugene couldn't help the snort of a laugh after hearing that. "I'm sorry but, are you trying to tell us that _Cassandra _felt something other than spite?"

Both Rapunzel and Varian glared at him.

"Yes." He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I know it's weird but she was acting the same way on Eugene's birthday. She didn't want to hurt me."

"She threw you off the tower." Kiera reminded him.

"Actually, she didn't. Technically that was Rapunzel but again, she didn't do it on purpose."

Rapunzel cringed at the memory. She'd nearly gotten Varian killed that day. Both times she'd used the Hope Incantation, Varian had gotten hurt one way or another.

"Okay, but still. This is _Cassandra _we're talking about." Lance said. "She isn't exactly warm and fuzzy."

Varian suddenly stood up and started walking towards the door with Ruddiger's direction.

"Where are you going?" Rapunzel asked. She started to get up too.

"I need some air." He said rather aggressively.

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked. She wasn't too keen on Varian going off on his own again.

"No, I'll be fine."

He left and they didn't see him again for the rest of the day, or the next. By the third day of not seeing Varian, Rapunzel began to worry. She went straight to Old Corona and immediately saw Quirin when she arrived at his house.

"Hi, Quirin!" She waved and he smiled and nodded in acknowledgment. "I'm just here to talk to Varian."

"He's in his old lab." His expression changed to concern and that scared her.

"Should he really be doing that in his condition?"

Quirin sighed. "You know Varian, your highness. He hates not being able to do anything and he won't take no for an answer."

Rapunzel pursed her lips and nodded. She knew that about her friend more than anyone. Without another word she entered their home and ventured down into Varian's lab.

"Varian?" She cautiously stepped into the large space but jumped when she heard a loud crash and Varian yelp. She sped around the corner to see Varian on the ground and his work table flipped over. "Varian!"

She quickly helped him up. "Are you okay?"

He rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah. I just tripped over something." He laughed awkwardly.

Rapunzel helped him pick up the table and the papers and beakers that had spilled all over the floor. "What are you doing."

The princess looked at the scattered sheets of paper. Some had scrawled, messy lines that looked like they were meant to be words and the others had much more readable writing but the letters were raised.

"Are you... trying to-"

"Make it easy for me to read and write?" He nodded. "Yeah."

Rapunzel felt a pang of guilt in her stomach. Varian was smart and resourceful. Of _course _he'd find a way to read and write in despite his disability. A disability that _she'd _caused.

"Wow." She laughed. "You're pretty resourceful."

"Thanks." Varian smiled and turned his head down towards the table. "You know what? I could actually use your help."

Rapunzel smiled. "Really?:

"Really."

**This is so not the only chapter of this thing that I'm writing. I'm gonna be writing more of this au/idea thing. anyway, hope you enjoyed.**


	5. Cold Sweat

**_Cold Sweat_**

A muffled scream escaped Varian's lips as he was jolted out of his nightmare. He looked around to see who had woken him up and saw Ruddiger crouched next to him looking with worried eyes.

"Sorry buddy." He whispered and stroked the raccoons fur. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Ruddiger squeaked and jumped into the boy's lap.

Varian took in a shuddering breath. He needed to get out. He slipped out of his bed and climbed out the window, not even bothering to put on his shoes.

Ruddiger followed him. The raccoon scampered around his heels, wondering why his master was up at this ungodly hour of the morning.

Varian wandered down the road, not really paying attention to where he was going. Soon enough he found himself on the outskirts of Corona. The city was asleep unlike him.

He found himself standing underneath Rapunzel's balcony.

_Maybe she can help me. _He thought then he remembered that it was still three in the morning. He wanted to walk away. To go back home but he couldn't. He couldn't get the sight of his father being encased in the rock and couldn't stop feeling the beating intenseness of the snow swirling around him. He couldn't be in his house without having the nightmares. He took a deep breath trying to remind himself that it was all just a dream. None of that had been real. _But it was. Those things actually happened._ Those things actually happened and he could never forget. No matter how hard he tried.

His breath caught in his throat as he started to hyperventilate. He felt the pounding intenseness of anxiety start to form in the pits of his stomach as he curled up against the stone of the castle and let go.

**_A few hours later_**

* * *

"I don't know how long he's been out here, princess. We just found him like this." Pete said as he led Rapunzel to the the boy's still body

Rapunzel knelt down next to Varian. "We need to get him inside."

* * *

Varian woke to voices and a hand gently running through his hair. He blinked his eyes open, eveything was blurry at first. He only caught outlines of people but he knew that he was safe.

"I think he's waking up." That voice was definitely Lance for sure and that's when Varian realized he was inside the castle.

"Hey, Varian." Rapunzel's voice was gentle and soft like she was trying to coax a scared kitten out of a corner. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"Sorry." He mumbled and fully sat up.

"Sorry for what? What happened?"

"I was wandering again last night." He bit his lip. "It helps."

Eugene and Lance exchanged nervous glances. "Helps with what?"

"The nightmares." He whispered as he curled in on himself.

Rapunzel put a hand on his cheek and turned his head towards her. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Varian's eyes pricked with tears. "Because it wouldn't have helped. Talking never helps. It just makes it worse."

Rapunzel suddenly hugged him tightly. This boy, her friend, her little _brother_, was suffering and she couldn't do anything to help him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't help but I'm here for you. I will always be here for you."

"Thank you." He whispered.

His face was buried in her hair and she felt warm tears spilling onto her shoulder.

She let him cry for as long as he needed too and eventually he fell asleep against her.

The princess let him sleep. He must've been exhausted after eveything he went through. She laid his head on her lap and ran her hands through his hair to keep him calm.

Eugene sat next to her. He was admittedly worried about the little guy. Over time he came to see Varian as family. He enjoyed being a brother figure to him and he knew that Rapunzel saw him as a little brother too.

"I'm worried about him, Eugene." Rapunzel said. "I don't know what I can do to help him, but I want to help him so badly."

Eugene put a hand on her shoulder. "I know. I'm worried about him too but I don't think that we _can_ do anything for him except to just be there."

Rapunzel nodded. She knew he was right. They couldn't do anything. _She _couldn't do anything and it was eating her alive. Her baby brother had been suffering from nightmares, insomnia and anxiety attacks for _months _and she couldn't do anything about it.

* * *

A few hours later Rapunzel was starting to doze off when she heard Varian let out a strangled cry. Immediately she was awake. He twitched and squirmed in his sleep but didn't wake.

She brushed some hair out of his face but wasn't sure what else she should do. Should she wake him up? No, that might make things worse. But she couldn't just let him suffer through the nightmare.

"Cass." The betrayers name left his lips no louder than a whisper. "Cass, no. Stop."

Rapunzel couldn't imagine what he was dreaming about but it couldn't be good.

"Wait... NO!" He shot up from his nightmare, his whole body shaking.

"Varian?" She put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

He turned to her, tears in his eyes. "Rapunzel?" He hugged her tightly as if to make sure she was real. "You're okay."

She cradled the back of his head. She had no idea what was wrong but she couldn't ask questions. "Yeah. I'm here. I'm okay."

She pulled him back a little. "Varian, what were you dreaming about? You said... you said Cass' name."

He looked away. "She was... she was here. Here, in the castle and she was hurting you. I tried to get her to stop but I couldn't move. Then, the whole room lit on fire and she stood there, laughing."

Rapunzel pulled him back into the hug. "It's okay. I'm okay. Cassandra isn't here. You're safe."


	6. Trapped

**_Trapped_**

**_No one expected Varian to be the one to bring Cassandra down._**

Varian faced Cassandra, clutching his staff tightly. He was the only one left standing. Eugene, Lance, Rapunzel... they were all knocked out or MIA. It was up to him.

"Give it up, Varian!" She stood over Rapunzel's collapsed body with a triumphant grin. "I've won!"

He grit his teeth and glared at her. "Not yet, you haven't."

She scoffed and walked down the black rock steps towards him. "There's no one left, but you, and you're raccoon."

Varian pulled the bubbling, yellow beaker out of his bag. "Remind me what your armor is made of, Cass?"

She smirked and walked behind him. "The black rocks, so that little acid trick won't work on me."

He turned and splashed the substance on her and for a terrifying moment, nothing happened. Then the amber started to spread across her armored body.

Varian stumbled back to avoid being trapped himself.

Cass stared at him in horror. "Var... you..."

He looked on with a blank expression until she was completely encased. That was when the reality of what he'd done hit him like a ton of bricks and he fell to his knees, horrifed at himself.

His stomach churned and he put a hand over his mouth to keep from throwing up. The empty beaker shattered on the ground next to him.

* * *

Rapunzel slowly came to. She blinked blurriness out of her eyes and sat up despite the splitting headache. A few yards immediately in front of her was a mass of the rock amber. The same stuff she'd rescued Quirin from and Varian had used to save Corona from the red rocks.

She saw a small figure kneeling in front of the amber. Then she saw _who _was trapped in the amber and she almost screamed. She shot up and ran down the slowly receding black rock steps and started beating on the amber, crying her eyes out.

She looked down at the person next to her and saw Varian, eyes wide, hand over his mouth, looking absolutely and completely horrified.

It didn't take long for her to piece eveything together. The broken glass beaker, the amber, Varian's dissociative state. Varian was the one who trapped his father the first time. Varian made the compound that had saved Corona. _Varian was the one who trapped Cass._

"Varian." She whispered, almost to scared to say his name. "What did you _do._

"I... I didn't know what else to do. S-she was going to... going to kill you. I didn't know what else I could do." He stared at the base of the amber.

He had just sentenced Cassandra to a fate worse than death.


	7. Authors Note

**Should I take a break from the angst and do a fluff fic?**


	8. Roadtrip (part1)

**_Roadtrip_****_ (part 1)_**

**_Sometimes you just need to get away._**

It had been almost a year since Rapunzel and Eugene's wedding, and two years since they discovered Varian's moonstone powers.

During the final fight with Cassandra, Rapunzel shattered the Moonstone entirely. That's when the powers of the moon transferred to Varian.

* * *

_Rapunzel had beaten down on Cassandra with her gale force winds of solar radiation. The Moonstone completely shattered and slowly began to dim._

_"__No!" Cassandra wailed, clutching the broken pieces to her chest in a vain attempt to rescue her power._

_Small wisps of light shot up from the shards, wisping around the battlefield as if they were looking for someone. That someone happened to be Varian._

_The light slammed into his chest, knocking him down as the power of the moon fully integrated with it's rightful host._

_He'd taken a few minutes to get up but as he layed there his hair turned white and the blue streak became more saturated and started glowing._

_Zhan Tiri had called out for Cassandra to take him out before he could fully grip his powers._

_"He will destroy you!" She screamed, fixating her gaze on him as he slowly began to move. "Hurry Casandra! You must-"_

_Her words were cut off when one of the black rocks punted her across the field._

_Varian stood, his hair floating listlessly around his face and his eyes glowing._

_His hand was outstretched and he brought down the wall of rocks that Cassandra had made only hours earlier._

_He turned his gaze on Cassandra. She was completely helpless, sitting there with no weapon and no powers._

_"Just get it over with." She said, glaring at him. "Kill me."_

_Varian had simply stared at her as if her words hadn't even reached his ears._

_"Kill me!" She started to get up. "Do it! I know you want to-"_

_A black rock shot up from the ground, stopping inches away from her throat._

_She stared at him, frozen. Watching to see what he'd do._

_Lance and Eugene were to terrified to move near Varian. He hadn't said a word and wasn't acting very much like himself._

_"Do it." She whispered._

_The spike receded but two more rocks took its place by trapping her hands, forcing her on her knees._

_"I'm not going to kill you." He said. The glow faded and his hair returned to it's normal black color. His bangs dropped down onto his forehead and he looked at her with saddened eyes. "I _can't _kill you, Cassandra."_

_She was taken away, to prison. Zhan Tiri was nowhere to be found and that leads us to the present day._

* * *

As previously said, it had been two years since then. Lance and Eugene decided to take Varian on a roadtrip, just the three of them, for his eighteenth birthday.

Said day was just one week away and Rapunzel was running around, trying to get everything ready.

"Is this really necessary?" Varian asked, walking up to her. "Rapunzel, I really don't need a big party."

Rapunzel smiled. "Eighteen is a very big birthday, Varian. Exciting things tend to happen on eighteenth birthdays."

Varian rolled his eyes. "Exciting things _always _happen on birthdays. Eugene's twenty-sixth birthday was exciting. And your twenty-fourth birthday was exciting."

Rapunzel smiled at the memory. That day they'd gone out to the lake and discovered a giant fish monster living in the middle of it.

"Don't forget your seventeenth birthday with the-"

"The badgers. Yes, how could I forget."

Calliope had sent them the badger talisman for some reason on that day. She definitely didn't know that it was a birthday, she'd just sent it. They had alot of fun wrangling the badgers together. (fun read sarcastically)

"Birthdays are _fun_." She grinned and handed him a letter. "Oh, this is from Hector and Adira."

He opened it and smiled at his aunt and uncle's words.

_Varian,_

_Sorry we couldn't be there __for this exciting day but we wish you the best. -Aunt Adira_

_Miss ya, Squirt. Hoping to see you soon. Happy Birthday. -Uncle Hector_

Rapunzel leaned over to read the letter and smiled too. Despite her distrust of Hector, he truly cared for his nephew and Adira had always show affection for Varian.

"Hector does know you're taller than him, right?" Eugene asked, walking up to them.

Varian smiled fondly at the letter. "Yes. He's just salty about it and in denial."

Eugene put a hand on his shoulder. Varian had indeed gotten alot taller in the past two years. He was already several inches taller than Rapunzel and was quickly catching up to him, and Lance.

"You ready for the roadtrip, kiddo?"

Varian rolled his eyes at the nickname. "First of all, I'm not a kid. Secondly, _of course _I am. Not to be rude to Raps, but her enthusiasm about this can be a little suffocating."

The princess had walked away at this point.

Eugene nodded in agreement. "Don't tell her you said that."

"I won't." He looked down the hall. "Eugene, I'm gonna go do something. I'll be right back."

Eugene didn't even get a word in to ask what he was doing before Varian dissapeared down the hallway.

He ventured deeper into the castle until eventually, he found himself at the prison gates. The guards let him in with no question. This was a recurring visit.

He walked down the familiar halls of stone and iron before coming to a stop in front of her cell. He sat down on the ground while he waited for her to speak first.

"Hi." She offered softly.

Varian smiled. "Hi, Cass."

She looked at him for a long time before continuing. "Have you found her yet?"

He shook his head. "Not yet but we are still looking."

She nodded and looked out the barred window for a split second and then back at Varian. "And she hasn't tried to attack you or Rapunzel, right?"

"No, Cass. We're fine."

"Just... be careful on your trip. She's out there, looking for a way to steal your powers."

"I will, thank you." He started to get up and leave when she called through the bars.

"Hey Varian!" She gave him a smile. "Happy birthday."

* * *

"Got everything?" Eugene asked, tightening the harness around Max and Fidella.

Varian nodded, tossing his bag into the cart. "Yep. Now we're just waiting for La-"

Lance suddenly hugged Varian from behind, squeezing him tightly with alot of enthusiasm.

"Roadtrip!" He exclaimed. "This is gonna be fun!"

"Lance- can't- breathe-" Varian choked out, squirming in his grip.

Lance released him and ruffled his hair. His way of apologizing.

"Sorry, I'm just excited!"

They climbed onto the wagon and set off.

Rapunzel watched them leave with a smile. They would be back in three days and that gave Rapunzel enough time to get the big surprise ready.

She rushed off to get the note from her room and attached it to Owl's foot. She sent the bird off and grinned. This was going to be great.


	9. Incorrect Quotes

**Look, I'm not sorry. These are just a bunch of memes.**

**_Incorrect Quotes_**

* * *

Nigel and Varian: [arguing]

Lance: Wow. It's like watching a Book of Proverbs and a Thesaurus fight.

Eugene: [nods]

* * *

Varian, sleep deprived: What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

Eugene, taking the coffee pot as he walks by: What if you don't.

* * *

Quirin: Why are you drinking coffee at 10 p.m?

Varian: Time is an illusion, once you realize that you can transcend and live in bliss.

Varian: [takes a sip]

Varian: Also, I have a Demanitus scroll to translate and I haven't started yet.

* * *

Varian: "Tea is just leaf water!" "Coffee is just bean water!"

Varian: Wow, it's like everything is made of things. This door is just a wood rectangle. This poster is just ink paper. This lemonade is just lemon water. Wow, it's like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. Sure is a magical world we live in.

Eugene: The sarcasm coming from him is fatal.

* * *

Varian: Tall people: if we are walking together, please take into consideration my small legs. I can't keep up with you. Please think of my small legs, I don't want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll, you **TITANS**.

Eugene: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang onto my sleeve, we don't have all day.

* * *

**You can't get arrested if you file a restraining order against every single guard. **-Lance at some point

* * *

Edmund: How much for the horse tornado?

Eugene: Dad, that's a carousel.

Edmund: I must have it.

* * *

Varian: So an octopus can change its color to mimic its surroundings. When octopi does this it's called-

Eugene: An octo-lie.

Varian: ... metachrosis

Eugene:

Varian:

Eugene: Mocktopus.

* * *

Eugene (or Varian): Demanitus?? I thought you were a myth!

Demanitus: You were myth-taken.

* * *

**As you can see, the memes are funny and I just wanted to make you guys laugh while I work on the juicy stuff.**


	10. A Snuffed Out Star

**Just a bit of canon divergence angst while I try to get over writers block**

"You little imp!" Zhan Tiri screamed. Thanks to this... this... _child_, her plans were ruined. She couldn't destroy Corona anymore. He'd somehow taken away her power.

The demon turned on him, her eyes blazing in fury. She may no longer have the power to destroy Corona, but she could still kill him.

He looked at her with a smug smile. "Good luck trying to hurt anybody without your magic."

She grinned. Oh she would make him suffer for this. "I don't need magic to _kill _you."

He backed away, terror coming to his eyes as she stalked towards him. She would relish that look in his eyes for centuries to come.

"Any last words?"

* * *

They found him hours later, a knife embedded in his chest, and Zhan Tiri nowhere to be found. They didn't know how long he'd been dead, just that Zhan Tiri was the one who killed him.

"Varian..." Rapunzel felt tears coming to her eyes as she took in the horrific sight. Blood, his blood, stained the surrounding stone a bright crimson color. His pale body laying limply on the ground. And, his lifeless eyes that Eugene had to close with a shaking hand. Their friend was gone.

Cass collapsed to her knees by his side. She still had the moonstone. She was the reason he was dead. "No... I didn't want this."

Eugene wordlessly pulled the knife from his chest. He let the silver blade clatter onto the ground as the reality of everything set in. Varian was gone. Killed ruthlessly in cold blood by a demon. Why him? Why did it have to be him?

Rapunzel gently lifted his head onto her lap. She didn't want to let him go. She didn't want to let her little brother leave her. But she was to late. She was always to late when it came to things like this.

Then a thought.

_My hair. I'm still the Sundrop. I could still save him._

She'd used the Sun Incantation at the tower. Why couldn't she use the Healing Incantation now?

With a shaking hand she brought her hair to his chest. The first time she'd done this with Eugene, he'd only been dead for a few minutes. It had been a few hours. Still, it was the only thing she could try.

"Rapunzel? What are you doing?" Cassandra asked.

Rapunzel ignored her and began to sing.

_Flower Gleam and Glow_

_Let Your Power Shine_

_Make the Clock Reverse_

_Bring What Once was Mine_

Her hair began to glow a soft yellow and light weaved in and out of the strands. It was working. She kept going.

_Heal What Has Been Hurt_

_Change the Fates Design_

Her voice began to tremble with tears. What if this didn't work? What if her hair couldn't heal him?

_Save What Has Been Lost_

_Bring him back. _She thought. _I have to bring him back._

_And Bring Back What Once Was Mine_

_What Once Was Mine_

The song ended and the glow faded and for a terrifying, achingly long moment, nothing happened.

Everyone waited anxiously, breaths hitching in anticipation as they waited for something, _anything_, to happen.

Then they heard it. A soft, barely audible gasp. Then she noticed his chest moving. He was breathing again. It had worked.

She slowly removed her hair and saw the whole in his chest was gone. Then he was weakly grasping her hand.

"Rapunzel?"

She laughed and brushed his hair away from his face. "Varian."

She couldn't stop smiling. He was back. She brought him back.

Cass became so overwhelmed with the joy that he was alive and okay that she forgot why he'd been dead in the first place. "Varian, you're okay."

His reaction to her voice surprised her. He smiled.

"Hey, Cassie." His own voice was weak and hoarse but that didn't matter, because he was alive.

Cassandra felt a warmth in her chest. He'd called her Cassie again.

Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

Zhan Tiri watched from the shadows. Rage filled her soul. That princess always ruined her fun. Still, watching the light in his eyes go out had been amusing.

When the princess inevitably lost her magic again, she would kill him. And this time, he'd stay dead. But until then, she would just have to wait.


	11. A Loss

**_Some more canon divergence because I live for the angst. takes place in an alternate Once A Handmaiden._**

"Please Cass. I've always seen you as a sis-"

"Save it Fitzherbert." Cassandra snapped. She leveled her sword at him, fully intending to run him through. But, as she thrust her sword at him, Varian pushed him out of the way, taking the blow.

Cass pulled her sword back and dropped it in shock.

Varian fell to his knees, clutching at the new wound in his abdomen. Eugene caught him before he could hit the ground. He desperately tried to staunch the bloodflow but to no avail. Tears streamed down his face as he watched his little brother die.

"Eugene." Varian gasped out, clutching his hand. He was trying to hold on. Trying to stay conscious. Trying to stay alive but he was very quickly losing that battle.

"Varian, please. _Please _try to hang on. I'm going to get you out of here. I'm going to get you help." Eugene started to pick him up but Varian stopped him.

"No." His voice was barely above a whisper. "No. Please... just... just, tell my dad-"

"Hey." Eugene gripped his hand tightly. "You're going to be okay."

Varian shook his head. "No, I'm not. Eugene. Just tell my dad. Tell _everyone _that I love them. And... and that I'm sorry."

"Please kid. Please don't go. Just hang on." This time Eugene actually picked him up and started carrying him out of the destroyed remains of Corona. He looked at Cass once to see her in complete shock. He took that as his cue to leave.

* * *

"Just hang on Varian. I'm going to get you help. We're gonna go see your dad. You've gotta hang on just a little longer."

"Mom?"

His voice was so quiet Eugene had barely even heard him.

"No, kid. Don't do that. _Come on__! _I've got you. You're going to be fine."

"It's okay." He whispered. Eugene looked down to see the light in his eyes slowly going out. "I think I'm ready."

* * *

Eugene burst through the doors of the Snuggly Duckling with Varian completely limp in his arms. The kid had died only moments before they entered the tavern. If only he'd gotten there faster. He could've gotten Varian help. He could've saved him.

Quirin startled at the sight of Varian lifeless in Eugene's arms. He stumbled forward, taking his son from Eugene. Tears welled in his eyes as reality slapped him in the face.

"What happened?"

Eugene leaned against the doorway, looking completely horrified. "Cassandra."

They heard collective gasps from the crowd.

"Why?" Quirin whispered, brushing hair away from Varian's pale face. "Why would she do this?"

He gently touched the stab wound in his son's stomach.

"It was meant for me." Eugene said. He sat down hard on the floor, pulling at his hair. "She meant to kill _me_. Varian pushed me out of the way. He saved my life."

And lost his in the process.

The thought hung in the air.

Quirin cried, holding his son close. He'd lost the only family he had left. First his wife and now, his son.

"I'm so sorry. I tried to get here. I could've saved him if I'd been faster."

They heard a tiny gasp from behind them.

They turned to see Catalina holding a hand over her mouth as she stared in horror.

"Cassandra did this?" The redhead asked. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she reached out a shaking hand to touch him.

Eugene nodded, placing a hand over hers. He didn't know what to tell her. Varian had been like a brother to her and Angry.

Lance and Angry came over to say goodbye.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to catch you this time." Lance whispered.

Angry was gently holding onto Varian's shoulder, as if hoping he would wake up. "I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye."

Both girls held onto eachother. They'd just lost their brother.

Eugene didn't know how to deal with his grief. He'd just lost one of the most important people in his life. Varian had been more than just a friend to him. He'd been a brother, a teammate... he was the other half of Team Awesome. And now that other half was gone.

"What about Rapunzel?" Catalina suddenly asked.

Eugene stiffened. What about Rapunzel? She was going to be absolutely devastated when she found out. Losing Varian on top of losing her kingdom is just the thing Eugene suspected of pushing her over the edge. Cassandra was about to have a war on her hands.

"She's going to find out when she wakes up." Angry told her sister softly.

* * *

Rapunzel woke fifteen minutes later to find Eugene sitting quietly by her bedside. His face had dried tears stains and his eyes were red. Most likely from crying. But what had he been crying about?

"Eugene?"

He looked at her but didn't smile. She saw absolute and complete heartbreak and grief in his eyes.

"Hey, Sunshine."

"Eugene, what's wrong?"

He sighed shakily and looked down. "Something horrible happened. Cassandra..." He grit his teeth. "She..."

"She what? What did she do?"

He took in a deep breath. "After you were K.O'ed she... she tried to kill me."

Rapunzel gasped. "She... _why?"_

"I don't know."

"What happened?"

Another deep breath. "Varian pushed me out of the way. He saved my life."

"Then what?"

Eugene grit his teeth again. This was so hard to say. Would she even believe Cass was capable of something so evil?

"Varian took the blow. He traded his life for mine. He's gone."

"No."

"I'm sorry. I tried to save him."

_"No." _

"Rapunzel-"

She didn't listen as she shot up from the bed. She sped across the floor into the next room to see everyone looking stricken with grief.

Quirin was a complete mess and Edmund was trying to comfort him. Angry and Catalina were staring off into the distance while Ruddiger sat on the table, solemnly resting his head on Varian's goggles.

"Where is he?" She breathed out. Eugene appeared next to her.

"They moved him to a different room." He explained quietly. "If you really want to see him one last time, I'm right here."

She squeezed his hand. "Please. I have to."

He nodded and led her to a room she'd never been in before. He slowly opened the door to reveal, Varian laying on a bed. He looked so small and fragile, his face was pale and had taken on an ashy gray color.

Rapunzel held back a sob as she knelt next to him. "I'm so sorry, Varian. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you today. Maybe if I'd been there I could've-"

Eugene put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, Blondie. There isn't anything anyone could've done for him."

She looked at him. He was completely shattered. The princess realized just how hard it must've been for Eugene to carry him here. For Varian to die in his arms when he was so close to getting help.

She cried into his jacket and he held her close. After a long while she pulled back, sniffling and wiping away a tear.

"Cassandra is going to pay for what she's done."


	12. A Loss (part 2)

**_Still here for the angst._**

Was he dead? No. He couldn't be. Eugene would've gotten him to safety. He was probably fine. Still, she'd just _stabbed him in the stomach._

"Cassandra." Rapunzel's angered voice shook her from her thoughts.

Cass turned to see Rapunzel glaring at her. The princess walked towards her, anger burning in her eyes. Then she noticed the others behind her looking just as angry and grief-stricken as the princess.

She realized what could be causing this kind of reaction from the people. Varian was dead.

She looked at Eugene. His white gloves were stained with blood. "Where is he?"

Eugene took a shaky breath. "Cass, he's _dead. _Thanks to you, Varian is gone."

Rapunzel marched forward, frying pan in one hand and hair in the other. "Why! Why would you do that? _Why!"_

Cass shook her head, backing away. "No. I... I didn't mean to... _no."_

* * *

After getting trapped together when Zhan Tiri stole the Moonstone and Sundrop, Cass finally asked what happened.

"Did you atleast get to say goodbye?" She asked.

Rapunzel shook her head. "No. Eugene said he died moments before he got inside. He was long gone by the time I woke up."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him."

"But you meant to hurt Eugene." Her voice was quiet and solemn. "Cassandra, why?"

Cass took in a deep breath. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I really am."

"Sorry isn't enough. Cass, he's _dead_. He's dead and you're the one who killed him."

"I know."

"You don't even look upset. Cassandra. Please tell me you atleast feel a little remorse?"

"_Of course _I'm sorry. I never wanted him to get hurt. I never wanted for any of this to happen! I just wanted my own destiny."

"And this was the price?"

Her words shook Cassandra to the core. Rapunzel was right. She'd stolen the Moonstone, abandoned her friends, killed Varian, and for what? Now, Zhan Tiri had both the Sundrop and Moonstone.

* * *

"We did it!" Rapunzel exclaimed. "Cass, we did it!"

She turned and saw Cassandra laying dead on the floor.

"No!" She collapsed by her side, cradling her forehead against hers. "No! I'm not going to lose another friend today!" She looked at the swirling, conjoined moonstone and sundrop. "I refuse to lose another friend today."

* * *

_Varian felt weightless. It was pitch black wherever he was. He heard voices, whispering around him._

_"Hello?" He called out. He searched in every direction but the blackness went on forever. "Is someone there?"_

_"You're early, my child. Much too early." A disembodied voice echoed out from the darkness. "Perhaps she may find a way to save you still."_

_"He will not be the same." A raspy voice joined in. "If she does manage to restore his life, he will be stuck in between the world of the living and the world of the dead. It was different the first time. The man was only dead for a few minutes. It has been almost a day with the boy."_

_"We are aware of this." A womans voice responded to the raspy one. "But he still has so much left to do. It would not be right to keep him here."_

_"__Who are you? What do you want?" Varian asked. He was scared. Scared and alone._

_"You don't need to be afraid. We're friends." The first voice said calmly._

_"Who are you?" Varian asked again._ _He felt a presence next to him. He turned and saw a hooded figure. Shadows covering their face._

_"You may call me Death."_

_Varian stumbled back. "What? What is going on?"_

_Death reached out a hand. "You died. Killed by someone you called friend."_

_Varian's voice caught in his throat. It all came rushing back to him. Cassandra, Eugene, his mother._

_Wait... his mother. She was the one he'd heard. The last face he'd seen before he... died._

_"W-what, what were you talking about? What did you mean by "she" could still save me?"_

_A sigh. He couldn't see Death's eyes but he knew they were sympathetic. "Rapunzel. She might use the Healing Incantation to try and bring you back. But, of course that decision is still up to you. When and if she tries to use it, you have the choice of returning to your body, or not."_

_"A choice? What do you mean?"_

_"Think of the Incantation like a bridge. It will give you the choice of returning to the world of the living." He paused. "There is, however, a catch. You won't be the same. You will forever be trapped between both worlds. You're supposed to be dead but the princess' magic is strong. She can bring you halfway back."_

_"What's going to happen if I choose to go?" Varian wasn't so sure about this. He wanted to go back. He wanted to return but not at a cost this high._

_"I'm not completely certain. There's a fair chance for you to travel here when asleep, and go back once you wake. That is the most mild thing that could happen. You would also have the ability to see other ghosts wherever they are." Death put a bony hand on his shoulder. "You have so much left to do, Varian."_

_Varian felt a tugging in his gut. A bright, yellow light glowed behind him, pulling him towards it._

_"That's your way home." Death said. "You may go if you wish."_

_Varian looked at it. He wanted to, but he also wanted to say goodbye first._

_"My mother. Can I see her before I leave?"_

_Death shook its head. "Someday. Someday you will see her."_

_Varian looked at the light again. He started walking towards it. As he reached the beacon everything went black again and then, _he was waking up in his own body.

* * *

Varian bolted upright, gasping for air. Had that all been a dream? Something in the back of his mind told him it wasn't. Then he noticed the blood coating his shirt. He would probably need to wash that.

He slipped off the bed, steadying himself on the frame. He looked around the room to see a mirror and his own reflection. He looked awful. His eyes were dark and sunken and his skin was still ashy and pale, although it was starting to get some color back.

The most startling difference to him besides how dead he still looked was his hair. The blue streak he'd had all his life was gone and a large chunk of his bangs had turned white.

That was weird.

He limped out the door, wincing with every step. Everything hurt. Every step felt like he was walking on glass and every breath felt like he was breathing in fire.

"Ruddiger?" His voice was hoarse and weak. Ruddiger perked up from his spot on the table. The little guy hadn't gone with the others.

Ruddiger scampered up to him and soon as he was settled on his shoulders, immediately started to lick his cheek.

"I know. I missed you too, buddy."

Varian took in a shaky breath. This was going to be difficult.

* * *

After Rapunzel shot the magic into the sky the whole kingdom rejoiced. But all she could think about was whether or not the Healing Incantation had worked on Varian.

"Eugene." Rapunzel pulled out of the hug. "Do you think... do you think that the Healing Incantation worked on Varian?"

Eugene brushed her newly shortened hair away from her face. "I don't know. I really don't know. He's been dead much longer than either me or Cass."

Rapunzel started crying again. He was probably right. She was too late. Again.

"Oh, hey. Hey, Sunshine. It's going to be okay." Eugene consoled her with a gentle kiss on the forehead. "We can go see if it worked."

She nodded and he helped her up, offering Cassandra a hand too.

"Come with us." Rapunzel was practically begging her. "I _need _you to be there."

Cass nodded and followed them out of the square.

* * *

Varian was halfway to the castle when he felt it again. An aching pain in his chest that almost made him stop breathing.

He clenched his teeth and pressed on. He needed to ignore the pain. It would pass. It always did.

Ruddiger chittered sadly. He knew Varian was in pain, but he couldn't do anything to help him.

"I'm okay bud." He told the raccoon. Ruddiger didn't look convinced.

Then he heard a gasp. He turned to see Rapunzel, Eugene, and Cassandra staring at him, mouths agape in surprise.

"Varian?"

"Hi." He gave Rapunzel a weak smile.

She let out a gasp of a laugh and reached out to pull him into a hug. She cradled the back of his head.

"You're alive." She pulled back to look at him. Tears in her eyes. "How?"

"It was you." He said quietly. "The Healing Incantation. It brought me back."

Eugene interrupted their moment by pulling Varian away from her and hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I... I-"

"Shut up." Varian buried his face in Eugene's shoulder. "You did the best you could. You were there for me until the moment I died. That's more than I ever would've asked of you."

He pulled away and noticed for the first time since finding him how pale and... ghostly, he looked. "You look awful."

Varian laughed weakly. "Thanks."

Eugene looked at him worriedly. "No, I mean, you look like you're about to pass out. Are you okay?"

Varian shook his head. "I was dead a few minutes ago, Eugene. I'm quite the opposite of okay."

"Varian." Cass stepped forward. "I... I'm glad to see you're alive."

Varian averted his gaze and stepped away from her.

Rapunzel looked between her two friends. Cass looked saddened by his reaction and Varian looked down right terrified of Cassandra.

"Cass I think maybe you shouldn't get near him." She whispered. "I mean, you _did _kill him."

"And knocked him out, and drugged him while unconscious, and I also hit him in the chest with the black rocks. And then he fell off the tower after I dangled him over the edge of said tower." Cass nodded. "You're right. He has every reason to be afraid of me."

She stepped back to give him space.

Varian was able to breathe easier when she stepped away. He hated to admit the fact that he _was _scared of her but he was.

"Can we go home please?" He asked.

Eugene nodded and wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they made their way back to the castle.

"You look pretty shaken, bud. Do you want to talk about it?"

Varian shook his head. "Not really."

Eugene sighed and rubbed his arm. "I know what you're going through. When Rapunzel brought me back for the first time it took awhile to for me to feel comfortable in my body again."

Varian gave him a half-hearted smile. He knew that Eugene had died before, but he didn't want to tell him how different this was. He wasn't even fully here anymore.

"Thanks."

"It'll be okay."

They walked in silence for awhile before Varian felt the pain is his chest again. It felt like someone was driving a wooden stake into his heart. He tried to ignore it until he couldn't any longer. He collapsed to his knees, vision hazy with pain as he gasped for breath. His chest felt tight and everything _hurt_.

"Varian?" Both Eugene and Rapunzel knelt next to him with worried looks. "Varian what's wrong?"

"I can't... I can't breathe." He gasped out.

"What do we do!" Rapunzel asked, panicking. "Eugene!"

"I don't know!"

Varian suddenly screamed in pain. He felt as if he was being torn in half. Then he felt his soul literally being ripped from his body and all in a moment the pain stopped.

He watched his own body collapse and Eugene catch it. He soon realized what was going on. Death warned him something like this would happen.

He was going in and out of death like state. And this wouldn't be the last time it would happen.

**_Guys I'm literally having so much fun writing this. Excuse me while I make it it's own book._**


	13. Loss Update

Just made Loss it's own book! Renamed it, A Brush of Death

Chapters for that will be added there!

Enjoy the Angst!


	14. Scars and Bruises

**Trigger ****Warnings: heavy mentions of self harm and attempted suicide, if this triggers you please dont read**

Rapunzel didn't know what to think when she found the broken beaker and glass shards covered in blood. All she knew was that she needed to find Varian.

* * *

Varian thought he was doing a good job of hiding how broken he really was. Despite everything he had gotten back he was still feeling so empty. At first he didn't notice his own depressed state, but after what happened with Zhan Tiri and Cass got pardoned and left he started feeling that oh-so familiar emptiness.

That was all he felt during his year in prison and many months left alone in Old Corona. He thought he'd fixed it when he got his dad and his friends back. But now he just felt tired all the time. All he wanted was to dissapear.

He was in his room, sitting at his desk. He was meant to be working on a project but he just didn't want to. He felt to tired despite having gotten a full night's sleep.

He absentmindedly pulled off his gloves and picked up the small knife he had sitting in a drawer. He ran his thumb over the edge before pulling up his sleeve and dragging the knife across his arm. He succeeded in opening up old scars and scars that were still healing from only yesterday.

He hissed in pain but kept going until he reached his forearm. He put the knife on his desk and pulled his sleeve down.

That's when Rapunzel walked in. She immediately noticed the bloodied knife and thin line of blood forming on his sleeve where he'd just cut.

She marched up to him and took his arm, pulling up his sleeve. She gasped when she saw the cut and all the other scars on his arm. She took his other hand and pulled up that sleeve too. That arm was just as mauled as the other.

"What are you doing to yourself?" She whispered in horror. The princess couldn't fathom someone harming themselves in such a way.

Varian pulled his arms away from her. "I don't expect you to understand." He was so close to tears.

"Varian, I only want to help." She gently ran her thumb over his scarred arms. "Why did you do this?"

"It's the only way I can feel anything anymore." This time tears pricked at his eyes. "I just want to dissapear. I feel so empty. I'm tired, and anxious, and _miserable, all the time_."

Rapunzel didn't say anything as she let his words echo in her mind. Why was he feeling like this?

"I just want to die."

She gasped. "_No. _Don't... don't _say that_, Varian."

He looked away. He couldn't bear to see the hurt and anguish on her face.

"I'm a burden to everyone, Rapunzel. Including myself. I hate feeling like this all the time and I just want it to stop."

"No you're _not_." She hugged him. "We all _love _you. We love you so much and I don't know what we would do if anything ever happened to you. Please. _Please _promise me you'll stop hurting yourself. Youre not a burden to _anyone_. Especially not to me."

When she pulled away he nodded. His eyes looked so broken and lifeless. They held none of that joyful light they once had. It broke her heart.

"Why don't you come downstairs with me? We'll get that cut taken care of and we can get some hot cocoa afterwards."

He nodded but his expression didn't change.

She pulled him out of his chair and out of the room. Away from the earth shattering conversation and realization, and away from the small, bloody knife.

* * *

Varian didn't talk much even after they had settled by the fire with their cocoa. Rapunzel had him leaning against her and was running her fingers soothingly over his scars.

Everytime she spoke (which was often), she never missed the opportunity to tell Varian how much she loved him.

Eventually she seg-wayed the conversation into stories of the adventures she'd had with everyone during their year away from Corona. Varian listened without ever saying a thing.

After telling many of the stories she decided to ask him a question that had been bugging her ever since she found that broken beaker in his lab.

"Varian?"

"Hmm?"

He was almost asleep.

"I went down to your lab today... and I found... I found a broken beaker. The glass had blood stains on them. What happened?"

There was no sound save for the crackling of the fire. Finally Varian shifted slightly off of Rapunzel and unbuttoned his vest a little. Then he pulled down his shirt enough for her to see a nasty looking scar right over where his heart would be. It looked like it was still healing and it was obviously the aftermath of an extremely deep cut.

"I was going to kill myself last night." He paused and horror came to Rapunzel's face. "Ruddiger stopped me."

The princess fought down the bile that threatened to come. "Why?" Was all she could say.

"I don't know." There was almost no emotion in Varian's face save for a small hint of regret and fear. Those feelings quickly came crashing down on the both of them as Varian started crying. "I was so tired of living like this that I thought it would be better if I just died."

Rapunzel hugged him tightly, cradling his head and holding him close to her. "Please... please don't ever try something like that again. I-I don't know what I would do if you died. I would be so lost and heartbroken. _Please Varian. _Promise? We- we'll get you help. You're going to be okay." She pulled away and kissed his forehead, tears streaming down her face. "And we'll start by getting you a therapist."

He laughed a teary laugh but it was genuine.

That's when Rapunzel realized it was the first time she'd seen him smile or heard him laugh in _weeks_.

"It's going to be okay. We're going to get through this."

"We?" He seemed shocked.

She nodded and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear and than gently placed her hand over the scar on his chest. "I'm not letting you go through this alone. Not again. _Never _again."

And for the first time in months Varian was starting to see the light at the end of his tunnel. He was starting to believe he could make it.

They would get through this. Together. That's how they always did it. That's how it always would be.

**Yeah... so I kind of based this off of my own personal experience with depression and anxiety. It was through the grace of God and perseverance of my family that I got through it. I was never happy and I was always angry or sad. I know that it seems in times of darkness that things can never get better but they do. They always do. Whatever it is that you may be going through, remember that there is _always _someone who loves you and cares for you. Even though you might not realize it. Never stop fighting for yourself. Never stop looking for the light at the end of your tunnel.**


	15. Seven Kingdoms AU: Flowers

**Dont mind me. Only just a little bit obsessed with the seven kingdoms au atm.****Also completely fell in love with the Varian/Hugo ship so... that's what yall are getting.**

* * *

To say that Varian regretted going in that cave was an understatement. He and the others thought it would be a good idea to split up and explore this labyrinth of a cavern. Yong and Nuru went together so that meant Varian and Hugo were cave partners for the time being. Perfect.

It wasn't that Varian disliked Hugo. He had the exact opposite problem, actually. He liked him. _Alot._

There was something about Hugo that Varian found incredibly attractive. Maybe it was his knowledge of alchemy, or how smug he got _talking _about alchemy. Or it could've been the way his beautiful blue eyes reminded him of the ocean... and he was getting off topic. Point being, Varian had it _bad_.

Normally he was very good at hiding his emotions. Normally. Now, with it being just the two of them Varian didn't know how long he could last.

And then the flower incident happened.

They had been walking in silence for awhile before they stumbled upon a large pink flower. It was not a normal flower. They could tell because it was sparkly and glowing. So, naturally the first thing they thought was what implications it could have in alchemy.

Hugo carefully plucked it from the ground and twirled it slowly between his fingers. Varian watched him, slightly mesmerized by his actions.

"What do you think it is?" The blonde asked.

Varian shook himself out of his stupor and shrugged, trying to play the nonchalant card. "Heck if I know."

Hugo stared at him for a minute, an expression behind his eyes that Varian couldn't quite place. Finally he smiled and placed the flower in his bag. "We can find out later."

Varian nodded and they continued walking.

It had been almost thirty minutes and Varian could feel Hugo staring at him. He turned around and was shocked, almost frightened, to see Hugo's eyes were no longer blue but were instead a violety-purple color.

"Hugo?" He asked carefully.

The alchemist in question stepped forward, grabbing Varian's wrist and pulled him towards him. He raised his other hand and gently cupped Varian's cheek. The younger could only stand in shock. What the heck was happening?

"What are you doing?"

Hugo leaned forward and Varian's breath hitched.

"What I should've done a long time ago." And with that he _kissed _Varian.

Varian stood there for a second, completely frozen. He wanted to melt into the kiss. To just wrap his arms around Hugo and never let go but he couldn't do that. There was something wrong with his friend.

Varian shoved the blonde away from him. "What are you doing!"

Hugo didn't look deterred in the slightest. He simply grabbed Varian by the waist and held him closer. "Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that."

He felt a blush crawl onto his face. He put his hands on Hugo's chest and tried to push him away. "There's something wrong with you."

"The only thing wrong," He whispered, leaning closer. "Is that I didn't do this sooner."

Varian pushed him away again before Hugo could do anything. And this time he took extra precautions by sticky bombing his hands and feet to the cave wall.

Once Hugo was successfully detained, Varian took a moment to breathe. His lips were still tingling and his brain was going a mile a minute. There were no coherent thoughts, just the memory of what had happened.

Varian looked at his friend again and the expression he found was one he could only describe as lovestruck.

Then a realization hit him. _The flower_.

He quickly dug it out of Hugo's bag. It was significantly less glowy. That was something Varian decided was not good. And there was something about it that was strangely familiar. That's when Varian remembered reading about a flower like this back in Corona. He probably still had the book.

Varian reached for his bag and pulled out a book. It had a painted cover that was covered in intricately drawn leaves and birds. It was the last thing Rapunzel had given to him before he left. He opened it and conveniently flipped to the page he wanted on the first try. Lucky him.

_The Lily of Aphrodite_

_Said to be found in caverns and dimly lit forests. This flower has the power to make whoever inhales it's pollen act on their strongest impulses of love. The infected will be drawn to whomever holds their affection._

_These effects can only be reversed if the object of affection kisses the infected. (Note that the kiss will only work if the person who holds the infecteds affections reciprocates their feelings of love.)_

Varian closed the book, his heart pounding. Okay, so the kiss would definitely work. That left him with a multitude of problems to face afterwards. He risked Hugo finding the book and discovering he loved him. There was also the fact that Hugo apparently like him too? Varian shook his head in an effort to clear these thoughts. Right now he needed to deal with the immediate problem.

He slowly stood up and looked at Hugo who was still staring at him. Scratch that. He was definitely checking him out. Varian didn't know how to respond to that. So he slowly and carefully approached him. He got right in front of him and placed a hand on his cheek, absentmindedly brushing some of his blonde hair away with his thumb.

"Wondering when you would come over here." Hugo said with a smile and Varian was helpless. That dang smile ruined him.

The younger alchemist could only stare as he ran through his mind what he was about to do.

"Varian." Hugo said in a sing song voice. "Are you just gonna stand there or what?"

Varian's resolve hardened. "Can't you just shut your dang mouth for once?" It was more of a demand than a question and before Hugo could respond with something flirtatiously snarky, Varian crashed their lips together.

The hand that was resting on Hugo's cheek slowly curled into his hair as Varian made the kiss alot deeper than he intended. This kiss was messy and was supposed to just be to break whatever curse had ensnared itself on the blonde but it ended up being so much more.

Varian finally broke the kiss, pulling back to see if it had worked. His heart leapt in his chest when Hugo's eyes returned to normal.

"Varian?"

"Hi."

Hugo was confused at to why Varian apparently had him pinned to a wall. He looked to his left to see his hand stuck against the cave with the pink goop Varian had made. He looked back at Varian. His fingers were curled into his hair and Hugo could only guess what happened.

"What um... what happened."

Varian seemed to realize what position they were in because he promptly dropped his hand and released Hugo from the pink, goopy prison.

"It's alot to explain." He laughed nervously.

Hugo looked to see the flower they'd found earlier lying on the floor.

"Sh-" He stopped himself and looked at Varian apologetically. "Did I kiss you?"

Varian nodded, a blush growing on his cheeks.

Hugo quickly put two and two together. "And you kissed me."

"T-to get you back to normal!" Varian retaliated, his face reddening. He stopped. "Wait. You said you didn't know what it was!"

Hugo looked away. "Suspension of disbelief." He walked over to the flower which had lost it's glow. He looked back at Varian who seemed to be struggling to find something to say. "Are you okay?"

"I... I- no! I mean, we- you and I-" He groaned and pulled at his hair.

Hugo found this extremely cute. "It's okay. We'll figure it out. For now... let's just get rid of the flower and make camp. I've got the feeling we'll be down here for awhile."

Varian didn't disagree with him but didn't say anything either.

* * *

Almost an hour later they were sitting by a fire. There had been no conversation at all and Varian seemed determined to keep it that way.

Finally Hugo couldn't bare the silence any longer. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Varian looked at him with surprise. "I'm not... I'm not ignoring you."

"Yes you are. You haven't said a word to me since the flower incident."

Varian stared into the fire, seemingly content with returning to silence.

Hugo was not.

"Listen Var, I know this wasn't the ideal way to get our feelings out into the open but they are now and I think we should deal with them now instead of later."

Varian finally met his eyes.

"Do you really want to know why I've been ignoring you?"

Hugo nodded.

"I'm scared." He admitted. "I'm scared that if I admit that I love you, then it'll be real. I won't be able to hide under a mask anymore."

Hugo took his hand. "What's wrong with real?"

Varian looked into his eyes and he was once again helpless. "It's daunting. If I admit it then I could lose you."

Hugo scooted a little closer to him. "You won't."

Varian leaned a little closer and what he said next was what made Hugo's heart stop.

"Can I kiss you?"

The blonde alchemist was stunned but quickly got over it and nodded. "Yes."

This time Varian did wrap his arms around Hugo and kissed him with everything he had.

Hugo rested one hand on Varian's waist and the other against his cheek.

Their lips moved together in perfect sync like it was something they'd done a thousand times.

Hugo curled his fingers into Varian's hair and the contented sigh the other alchemist gave made him melt.

When Varian broke the kiss and leaned their foreheads together, there was a small smile playing at his lips. "That was..."

"I know." Hugo brushed some hair behind his ear. "You don't have to ask, by the way."

"Hmm?"

"To kiss me. You don't have to ask."

Varian smiled playfully. "Really?"

Hugo nodded. "Yeah."

"That's fantastic." Varian said with a laugh and pulled him into another kiss.

Hugo absolutely loved the feeling of Varian's lips against his. It just felt so right in every way possible. There were moments when Varian would pull away to get some air before diving back into the kiss.

Everything about it was perfect and maybe, just maybe, Varian didn't regret going into that cave after all.

* * *

**Yay! So you got Hugo kissing Varian while under the influence of a spell. Varian kissing Hugo to break the spell. And then the two of them making out in a cave. Aren't I a great author?**


	16. Update

Hi guys! So I've decided that, as of now, I'm going to be ending the book. It's already at 20 chapters and I have no motivation to continue but thank you for reading and enjoying it! All of your guys' kind comments meant alot!

I do want to respond to one comment though. Alyssa Love said that Hugo's eyes are green and not blue. You're very correct and I'm sorry. When I first wrote it I didn't pay enough attention to his character design and I thought they were blue lol my mistake.

But, again, thanks for reading!


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